I hope that everyone had a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year. Ours were spent with family and friends here at home and I couldn’t have wished for a better, more relaxing, time. A wonderfully calm, quiet end to a roller coaster of a year. I have to admit that I am really happy to see 2011 slip into the past, too much stress, heartache, and upheaval for my taste. I am hoping that 2012 will continue in the manner which it started: relatively quiet, full of loved ones, and hope for the future. I know that with the arrival of the little guy in March, things will drastically change in our lives, but I feel that it will be all for the better. I am looking forward to things to come.

Okay, I apologize to those that became a bit overly concerned about my post on Thursday. I didn’t mean to make you worry about me. Yes, I am overly stressed and having some anxiety lately, but I’m handling it a bit better than it sounded. Obviously, I have my days, but I’m not quite to the point where you have to take away my shoelaces and all sharp, pointy objects.

I’m actually pretty happy today. My family is swarming into Columbus to join Shawn and I in the March of Dimes Walk tomorrow. I think that it will be a lot of fun, even if it does rain. I’m fill you in on the details and share some photos in the next few days.

I’m also quite relieved that we closed on the house yesterday. We won’t be moving in for a couple weeks due to painting, cleaning the carpets, etc. but at least I no longer have to stress about whether or not we’ll get the house. It’s ours. I’m sure I’ll be posting about making grueling decisions about paint colors and furniture placement soon enough.

I’m also quite touched by everyone’s concern. It’s bit hell lately and I really don’t know how I’d get through it without all your love and support. You’ve all be so wonderful and understanding, it really means the world to me. Thank you all.

I usually have a constant stream of thoughts running through my head, but lately it seems more like a river. It’s at the point where I’m overflowing my banks here. I thought that I’d write some of them out so I might be able to get some relief.

. . . . . I can’t wait to get out of the temporary apartment, I feel so in limbo here I just want to be in a real home and feel settled. I also hate having to drive all over, the traffic on this side of town is a mess. I think that Ohio drivers are worse than Wisconsin, this is shocking. I have one more year on my lease and have no idea if I want to take over Shawn’s car like we originally planned. We have the March of Dimes walk this weekend and my family is coming into town, please let this godforsaken rain stop for a few hours so we don’t have to walk in the rain. The cemetery still doesn’t have the marker in place for the twins. Why is it taking so long? I want everything settled there so they can rest. It bothers me. I have to go to the funeral home and pick up the death certificates and I’m not sure if I can handle that. We are closing on the house tomorrow, please don’t let anything crazy happen with the wire transfer so we can close. I want to move into the house immediately and Shawn doesn’t seem to care about waiting. I wonder how Walter is going to like the new house. Lord, he is shedding like crazy, I need to vacuum. I hate the vacuum here, it sucks. Haha, that was lame. I feel guilty about missing my stuff. Iron, vacuum, pots and pans, blender, my bed. I am looking forward to getting new furniture and things for the house but sometimes feel like I might be too materialistic when I get excited about it. I’ve been doing yoga again and it feels great. I need new workout clothes. I have to go to the gym today. Where is my hairbrush? I still haven’t ordered Shawn an iPad for his birthday and it’s been over for a month today. . . . .

Just wanted to give an update as to how things are going are here. Shawn and I are getting by as well as we can. We’ve been kept busy with things, so I think that is helping us cope. Don’t get me wrong, we’re still reeling from everything and have our moments, but I know that we can get through this together.

Shawn had to go to Madison last week for a few days to be there to handle the movers/packers at the house. I know that it was hard for him to be the one to go there alone and say goodbye to our home that we worked so hard to build. We truly loved that place and will miss it a great deal. Luckily, my dad was able to go up there and help a bit. Knowing Dad, he was keeping Shawn entertained and making him laugh.

While Shawn was in Madison, my sister and nephew came out to visit. I can’t say how good it was to have them here. They were fantastic in helping me with things around the house and the dog. We also had fun taking Luke to ice skate (whoa, that kid can SKATE!) and going to the North Market , the park, and taking Walter to the dog park. Shawn was able to come back early, so he was able to enjoy them over the weekend before they left yesterday morning.

We also made the decision to make an offer on a house here. It is not in my beloved Grandview Heights, but it is in a neighboring town and is close to many of our friends. We are excited about getting a fresh start here and making the house our own. We are looking to redo a few things there: kitchen, master bath, painting, etc. so that will be something I can throw myself into.

About a week ago, my brother had an awful bicycle accident. He flipped his handlebars going about 30 mph and landed on his right shoulder. He ended up dislocating his shoulder and blowing out part of his shoulder socket as well as breaking his scapula into about five pieces. He just had major surgery on Monday to put in a handful of surgical screws and plates to piece things back together. The Torto family rallied as we always do in times of crisis. I went down and stayed there for a week to keep watch at the hospital and help however was needed. Mike is now back at home and hopefully on the long road to recovery. He’s still in A LOT of pain, but is one tough SOB, so I think he’ll make it through. All positive thoughts and prayers to be directed his way would be much appreciated.

I get a call from the garage this morning telling me that has the Jeep stating that they have been looking at the car and they cannot find anything wrong with it. They have repeatedly tried to start of the car and it starts perfectly each time. They have no idea what made it not start the other day. They cleaned up the battery cables and hook-up and recharged it, but otherwise it is fine. What?? The guy that picked me up and tried to start it was there and he said that he had no idea what what going on either and promised me that he told them that it didn’t start when he looked at it at the parking lot. At least the garage guys don’t think that I am loony-tunes.

So, I walk up to the garage and pick it up. Starts up right away and I drive it home. But, now I am afraid to drive the thing because I do not want it to die on me again. I think that it is biding its time and will strike when I am completely lulled into a false sense of security. I just can’t win.

Today was a difficult day. It started out well, with a nice walk this morning with Walter to enjoy the beautiful fall weather. The trees are changing up here and the views are amazing. So, after the walk I have some breakfast, check emails, and head to the gym. After an invigorating work out, I head back to the Jeep in the parking lot. Jump in, place the keys in the ignition, aaannd . . . my day is ruined.

I turn the key and all the dials on the dashboard go nutso. Spinning around and dancing like a hippie at a Phish concert. The drop back to zero after about 30 seconds. Then the engine revs, but the doesn’t catch. So, I do the only logical thing, try it another dozen times over the course of 15 minutes. Please remember that I am a total sweaty mess to start out with, and getting hotter (both figuratively and literally) by the second. At this point I realized that I do not have my wallet or purse. UGH!

A bit of background now: Shawn is currently in Hong Kong for work. He left on Saturday and will not be back until the 21st. Hong Kong is 13 hours ahead from Madison time. This is going on at noon, so it is 1 in the morning there.

So, I call Shawn. I have no idea what to do. We don’t know ANYONE here in Madison to call, not to mention where I should have the car taken. Poor Shawn, he listens to my freak out and calms me down. I go back into the gym to see if anyone can help me figure out who to call to get the thing towed and hopefully get a ride home. God bless Larry. He is one of the janitors at the gym. He goes out and takes a look at the car to make sure he can’t fix it. Then tells me to call the local garage that is close to the house to tow it and check it out. He says that they are reliable and should also be able to give me a ride home. 

So, I call the garage and they send someone out to check it out. He says that they need to get a flatbed truck out to tow it, but shouldn’t be a problem. He gives me a ride back to the house so I can shower and change to get up to the garage to sign the service agreement.

I can only say that thank God for the kindness of strangers. I wouldn’t know what I would have done otherwise. It kind of made me realize how isolated we are here, compared to CMH, where I would have had numerous people to call for a ride and just the right garage to take the car.

So, now I have to wait to see what the verdict is. . . I hope that they can save him. I love that Jeep.