Time continues to pass. All the while there is a place in my heart that I continue to visit. A tiny place, a sheltered spot from the everyday hectic living that must go on. Like a park bench off the beaten path, near enough to the action to watch the world go by, but removed enough to be its own little oasis of calm. I go there often to remember, mourn, and think of what could have been.

Sometimes their are brief flashes of memory. Exquisitely miniature toes, the warm of a tiny body next to me. Sometimes there are regrets, why didn’t I ask to hold you both together? Why didn’t we take more photos?

As I watch your brother grow, I can’t help but think of both of you here with him. Playing with trains on the floor, clamoring for cookies, giggling under the covers.

The years pass, but you never fade. They only make those few precious moments with you gleam brighter as I hold you in my heart.

Happy 4th birthday, Mary and Christopher. We love you so.