Something to call my own (pt. 1)

I’ve been really yearning for a change for a while now. At first, I really didn’t know what type of change I wanted. I just felt like I needed “something” in my life. Hard to explain. I slowly came to realize that what I was missing was something to call my own. My own in a way that was separate from Joseph and Shawn and being a stay at home mom and caring for our home and family. Something challenging and exciting and all for me. I had this before when I was running my Etsy shop, selling my hand-knitted items. I ended up shutting it down shortly after Joseph was born because I just couldn’t keep up with production, taking photos, shipping orders, etc. while caring for a newborn. Something I would love to get back to someday. . . maybe when he goes off to college. Ha!

Anyways, I thought long and hard about it and decided that I wanted to look into getting some sort of job. But, then I decided not to get one. Why? Because I LOVE staying home with Joseph and I wanted to continue that. Not to mention it wouldn’t be worth it financially to have him go to a sitter or in daycare. I also didn’t want to have to compromise time I spent with my family, meaning giving up evenings and weekends so I could work when Shawn was home. Plus, I’m spoiled. I don’t want to have to work around someone else’s schedule and give up our ability to go on vacations and visit friends and family because I have to work. So I gave up and decided to look for other ways to have something for just me.

I tried diving into my studio. Sewing, knitting, painting, and other crafts. All of them were, and are, important to me and give me the ability to express myself and find joy in creating, but it wasn’t quite what I needed. This is a solitary pursuit. I found myself craving more interaction and getting OUT OF THE HOUSE. For those of you who aren’t stay at home moms, I’m not sure I can fully explain this to you. I craved adult interaction. Someone to talk to that can speak complete sentences and doesn’t rely on you for their every basic need. I found myself making unneeded trips to Target just so I could walk around and see other adults. I’d strike up conversation with complete strangers, just to hear someone’s voice other than my own. All the cashiers know Joe by name!

So I thought some more about finding something of my own. Something that would get me out of the house. Something that would challenge me and would be fun and would motivate me.

Then along came my amazing friend Dawn. Dawn is a dynamo. She is a stay at home mom with two wonderful kids that she takes everywhere, does everything for and makes me exhausted just thinking about what she does in a day. She has been my friend since our early days at Ohio State and have been through more together than I care to relate. I love her like a sister. She attempted to force me suggested that I join her in becoming a Stylist forStella & Dot. (I’ll explain more about this and the company shortly.) I had a jewelry party with her back in May and absolutely fell in love with the product, but I was rather skeptical. However, I kept coming back to the idea whenever I talked to her and thoughts like “well, maybe I could do that” or “that might be fun” or “could this be the something I’m looking for?” kept popping into my head.

I thought about it more. Being me, I made lists, I researched, I reached out to people like Shawn’s former boss who is also a Stylist to get there opinion. I talked with Shawn about it. I talked to myself about it. I basically obsessed over the decision. Can I do this? What am I thinking? I’m scared, nervous, afraid, excited, motivated. . . .

I’ve decided to go for it.

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